“If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” ― E.B. White
I seek refuge between the margins from my doubting troubled mind. If I’m not careful she can swallow me whole without chewing, crushing me with worries, fears, doubts, and what ifs. Here I slink away from the looming choices I must make. Inside a fire burns that cant be ignored, a burning need to save need to help need to fix the wrongs in the world that are too big for me even to wrap my arms all the way around. Sometimes I just don’t know if I am big enough.reblog
At the weeks end we hover on the breaths of expectation, suspend in anticipation. Leaping towards enticing possibilities without looking twice until the inevitable plummet. Why do we jump if we know we’ll always fall back down to earth? It is that moment in the air when we are as weightless as the visions we create for ourselves, for that moment of expectancy and hope where the ground still seems so far away? This moment for which we hunger, when all voices of reason seem distant and soft and all I can hear is your laugh and all I can feel is your hand in mine. I think it is for this moment for which we fall, and will continue to fall for a million and twenty times over, no matter how often or how hard we may hit the ground.2 reblog
Tonight I saw you. I saw your hands. Your eyes. Her lips. Her hair. Your look. Her nod. Her hands, your care. The water was glass and the moon was full. Together you left and the moon said goodbye but I was not so strong. I found solace in her light and the hand I held. I only wish I didn’t still wonder if you wondered too, if maybe the train was meant to bring me to you.
I suppose as long as your hand has another to hold and your smile is frequent and your heart is not cold.
Maybe we’re strangers now.2 reblog
As I sit watching the waves crash the shore while the gulls dance over the ruckus, a leaf from a nearby tree floats lightly from her branches on the breeze to settle in a mysterious place I can’t see from where I am. I notice a gull wander away from the bunch in my direction. The surf breaks on a rock and the ocean throws sparkling bits of herself high into the air to catch the suns rays. I turn to the gull and ask, “How do you leave a place so beautiful when the winter comes?”
With a smirk she answers “You fall in love too easily.” and with a few flaps of her wings disappears down the coastline.reblog
I’m a bull in your china shop of hearts and I let the pieces of you fall and scatter. I stomped and crushed and kicked and stumbled. We both know I’m too big and clumsy and this is not the place for me. As much as I want to, I can’t pick up your pieces, I cant unbreak your porcelain. Your parts may be scattered on the floor but if you choose to see it they become a mosaic of possibility and they are beautiful. Here is no place for a bull, but perhaps it is right where you and all of your pieces are meant to be.reblog
I think we need to get dirty. We need to make a mess of things and turn it all upside down. Art was never made inside of the lines. Mistakes will be made, chances taken with the most delicate of matters. Everything will be at stake but we have everything to gain but also everything to loose. It wont always work out. Sometimes we will find ourselves so buried in rubble that the hand of another will be our only saving grace. I don’t want perfection. I want the mess. The raw. The ugly. The real. I know the safe but questioning heart will never lie at peace.3 reblog
Why can’t you be content with where you are dear wandering soul? Must you always wonder, long, thirst for novelty? What we have may not be as great as what we might have, the possibilities too enticing to pass up. Curiosity is dangerous, and the forbidden fruit most sweet. It is an arduous life at times, but would it be better to settle into routine mediocrity? Perhaps it is our gift that we yearn. The mysterious temptations may lure us astray at times, but how else do you find adventure if you don’t first look for it?reblog
sometimes it takes a bigger step to a scarier place to get where you need to go. sometimes you have to guess and hope that even alone you’ll find your way. and usually, you come out bigger and lighter than ever before.
we have to explore, we have to seek out the beauties that fascinate us and there wont always be a hand to hold along the way. I think it is important to remember that the little fears and insecurities that try to sway us are biggest when they live in our own heads.
go on the adventure, climb the mountain, go see the band, dance to the music, even if it must be alone. it is in these moments when we can truly discover ourselves and our own innate power. I don’t think strength lies in numbers but in the soul that allows itself the courage to go against the grain to seek what it loves. it is when we can follow that we are truly free.1 reblog
3 decades minus 7 years and it seems rather than getting wiser with age I feel I am discovering the vast amount of knowledge that I haven’t yet, and maybe never will grasp. Change is the constant. Sometimes I search frantically looking for that song that always makes me feel the same or even put ink on my body so I know I’ll have something that has to be forever.
“Lighten up” I say to myself. You can’t hold on to it all in your arms and still expect to be able to reach for more. Some things you have to let go. Some things you will find will surprise and captivate you. Some people will too.
You also have to know that you can’t save everyone. Sometimes allowing someone the room to work on themselves lets them build themselves up bigger than they ever were before. And sometimes they’ll fall. But all you can do is love love love and open your arms when they need you. People can be very very strong.
I have been working on my connections with those around me. In new places I have come across new people some who are very different and some who I feel our souls have known each other for a long time. No matter, I try to listen and truly understand their story, their passion, their opinions, no matter how they differ from mine. Each path is so different and carries stories and lessons that I could not begin to understand if I don’t try to look, and to listen. If you pay attention, people can offer little gifts from their souls in the plainest of conversations.
I am working on my connection with the Earth as well. I have become aware of how the things that surround me can influence my mind and body, and I try to find peace outside when I am having trouble finding it within. I have learned about my impact on the Earth as well, and the importance of my own choices to the health of our beautiful planet. I have always found peace and joy in nature, now I hope to return that gift through carefulness with my consumption.
I have learned that time and space can only separate bodies, friendships remain if you let them.
I have learned that my body will treat me better if I treat it with care.
I have learned that I have more power than anyone or anything over how I feel and think.
I have learned that if you look hard enough you can find beauty anywhere.
So much has fit into 23 years. Continuously I am astonished, inspired, and grateful. Change is constant, yes, but probably even if the most wonderful things were the same all the time their sparkle would eventually fade. I’m happy about where things are, even though I have no idea where they may be going. After all, I guess who really ever does anyway?reblog